First Day of School Part II

Today was Ben's first day of class at AAUW Nursery School. He and Anna were ready to rock-n-roll.

Ben's first day of AAUW Nursery School, 2006. Sniff, sniff.

Ben is delighted to be in the 4 year old Adventure class.

The kids are reading books on the rug. Notice Anna in the foreground trying to blend in. She loves it there. She wishes so much that she were old enough to stay that she told the teacher's aide that she is 5. She got to stay today (although everyone knows that she is 2), but I foresee many hissy fits during the year.

No school day is complete without a snack. Ben is seated next to his buddy Josh.

So the fun begins in earnest!

Mom has PT twice a week now. On PT days the drill will be drop Jay off, go home and load the others, take Ben to school, and drive to Mom's appointment. Anna will stay in the daycare at the Centre Club during Mom's appointment- I hope. Then we will run to get Ben and head home for lunch.

First Day of School, Part I

Jay the First Grader, August 2007

Jay the Kindergartner, August 2006. Sniff.

Meeting up with his buddies Christian and Alex

Lining up with his class and teacher, Miss Fitzgerald.
Laboring under the weight of his school supplies, Jay heads into school.

I just heard the creaky screen door of summer slam shut.

Ben starts Wednesday.

A Quick Trip in Time

Photos from Pigeon Lake August, 2005

Uncle Jack and Baby Anna

Brandon, Ben and JJ look at the fish

Ben
Mom, Aunt Marge and a bemused Uncle Jack

We are planning a quick trip to Aunt Marge and Uncle Jack's cottage on Pigeon Lake this weekend. Though I wish we had more time to spend, John's imminent job change and fee day at St. Anastasia will keep us to just one night.

Time seems to nearly stand still at Pigeon Lake. We vacationed at the cottage, owned by my Mom's best friend from college, as kids, yet aside from some exterior upgrades, the cottage is the same. The upstairs has four queen sized beds that are separated by clothes line and curtains into sleeping areas. The paneling, photographs and even the carpet sweeper that dutifully removes sand from the rug is exactly as I remember as a child.

The players have changed- Aunt Marge, Uncle Jack and Mom are in their eighties and no longer as mobile. Time has mellowed them all. My Dad is gone and another John baits hooks and watches kids in the lake. The kids who used to play in the lake Doug, Ed, Joe, BJ, Amy, Peggy and myself are middle aged. The role of the kids on this trip will be played by the next generation: Brandon, JJ, Ben and Anna. Amy and I have transformed from kids to the Mom's who cook, clean and hang beach towels to dry on the line. Life was less complicated when the two of us would play and dig corrals for the freshwater clams.

The photos are fun to look at but make me a bit sad. The interceding years have not been kind to Uncle Jack- he has lost most of his vision and now has to rely on a walker for stability. In 2005 my boys followed him around like baby ducks as he did chores at the cottage.

So, Ma, how do you feel about going on a little trip.....Outsourcing Grandma

Faced with unsatisfactory and/or expensive care alternatives some caregivers are sending their parents the way of tech support... to India.

To US caregivers India offers quality medical care, inexpensive prescription drugs, cheap English speaking labor and a culture that still values the elderly. So as long as you are comfortable with living abroad, or at least with sending your elders abroad, you can get loads of care at an affordable price in India. Is India the Shangri La of elder care? If this becomes a serious trend, we shall see.

I have to wonder if this catches on what will be the consequences? I can think of several, mostly related to running out of funds. For example, In the US, where yearly care in a nursing home is easily over $40, 000 per year, those who deplete their assets have the costs of their care paid for by Medicaid, a joint federal and state program for the very poor. Nursing homes are not required by some states, including IL to take Medicaid, so to get a loved one in a nursing home one often needs some resources prior to spending down to Medicaid. I would certainly hope that caregivers keep those details in mind when planning to outsource Grandma.

This is actually an interesting reversal of an common practice: Using foreign caregivers to keep the elderly in their own homes. In the Chicago area it is very common to have Polish caregivers for the elderly. The rates are relatively affordable for a live in caregiver: $75- 90 per day plus a placement fee equivalent to one or two months salary to the agency that provides the worker. Of course there can be pesky visa and Nanny Tax issues with a live-in worker.

As for our Grandma, we will keep her here. I tend to think that her love of all foods deep fried, boiled or bland would be satisfied in India. Plus, we love having her here.

He has always been a special guy

As you can see from his halo:

Happy Birthday Joe! You are a great big brother and all around good guy.

In honor of your birthday, here are some choice quotes from your 6th grade report card:

"A real absent minded professor!" SVL (Sister Vickie Lynch?)

"Joe is an extremely talented young man!" Miss Galvin

I will note that his best subjects were Reading, Language Arts, Social Studies and Science. His most challenging: Math and Art.

The report card found its way to my house as does much of the flotsam and jetsam from Mom's house. I could not resist.

Throne improvement project

Today we had a toilet rail system installed in the downstairs toilet. Woo hoo! This is something I have been trying to get done since Mom fell on July 13. After searching the Internet and spending tons of time on the phone trying to locate a suppliers I called our plumber. They had it ordered and installed within the week.

The toilet rail does make the toilet rather regal and, well, throne like. I am somewhat tempted to place a crown on the back of the tank. The rails works great- and importantly- can be flipped up to minimize little boy pee on the cross bar.


We had our first physical therapy appointment yesterday to evaluate Mom and set goals. Her bad knee is actually at an 18 degree angle now to her thigh and is totally unstable. The therapist knew immediately which side Mom fell on, not because of any lingering bruising, but because the instability of the joint leaves her with little right sided leg support. It hurts to look at her try to stand and balance on that knee. As a result of the knee problems and her osteoporosis she has developed curves in her spine and back pain.

The goals for therapy will be to give her safe ways of maneuvering despite the instability of her knee. We will work on improving her practical skills like getting in and out of the car, up an down stairs and on and off chairs. It is going to be a tough workout for Mom. The therapist is extremely kind and Mom is very fond of her, which should help.

Mini Vacation

During the summer we take advantage of our lake front for little breaks.

I love the lake. When we are at the lake I am able to just be. Present in the moment I enjoy the waves, the sand, the sun and the kids.

Friday my sister-in-law Bert came for the Day and brought John's Mom (Oma), niece Theresa and nephew Jeremiah. Below Bert is taking Jeremiah, (far left) Theresa (in orange) Ben and JJ into the lake.



Ben and Anna having buckets of fun.

Jeremiah heads out to get some water from the lake while Jay and Ben work on a sand project.

Anna has a new favorite place to sleep- in the middle of lake Michigan. She curled up as we bobbed in the waves and fell sound asleep. When I tried to bring her to shore she protested. We stayed out in the lake for sometime. Eventually I handed her off to Bert to rest my arms.

Ben....

Oma and Grandma stayed at our nice cool house and visited while we went our lakeside adventure. I wish I had pictures of them, but I got sand in my camera and it is ruined.

Public Service Reminder- remember to buy disposable cameras for the beach.

Good bye old maple

Sadly, we had to have the large old silver maple next to our house taken down from our parkway. Falling branches have caused us to lose utilities, but more worrisome were the hollow areas at the joints of the large branches.





Still, it was just torture to see such a large old tree go down. I couldn't help but think of those that had cared for it over its life span, the bird and critters who lived on it and the shade it gave us.

The house looks bare and seems lonely without the tree.

Here you can see some of the hollow joints that supported massive limbs.

The kids were thrilled by the large machinery and excitement. They helped me bring lemonade and cold bottled water to the workers. Mom watched the entire processes, taking breaks for her soaps of course. It was a scary job and the workers had to navigate power lines. The logs were so huge that they had to cut them so that the crane truck could lift them properly.

Ben perches on a log for a photo.

Jay and Anna sit on the base with a giant saw. He wants me to print the picture so he can show people how he cut down the tree. We still have the stump so I am will take the kids out to count rings this weekend. I am guessing the tree was planted some time before the civil war. John thinks it is only as old as our house or 103 years old. We shall see.

My next task is to research replacements trees. Perhaps it will help me through my tree grief.

Vocabulary of frustration

Referral, prescription, doctor's orders- say the magic word and your loved one can receive physical therapy! Here's the catch, the correct answer depends on whom you ask.

I have been seeking another round of physical therapy for Mom since June. Her balance, range of motion and strength had all declined over the winter. The doctor agreed that it was a good idea. He forwarded the request to the ENH central referral office. I was told I would receive a written referral in a couple of weeks. In the interval, the central referral office decided that as a Medicare patient Mom didn't need a referral. No one informed me that nothing was going to be mailed to me. While I was waiting for the referral Mom had a mini-stroke and a hospitalization, so there was no rush. I continued to wait.

Moms fall July 13 increased my sense of urgency. I called the ENH doctors office, who informed me that I didn't need a referral. I told them that while that was true I needed some sort of statement of need from the doctor. They said pleasantly that they would get back to me.

I waited a week. I called the physical therapy provider at Condell who informed me that we needed a prescription from the doctor for therapy. Armed with the phrase "prescription" and a fax number, I called ENH again to request a prescription be faxed to the Condell therapists. Yesterday the Condell therapy office called to say that they had an opening, but no paperwork from the doctor.

Today I spoke with four different people at the ENH office. I would pleasantly explain my request and go into a purgatorial hold until someone new took pity and picked up the line. I would then explain my request again. Lather, rinse, repeat. The last person in that string told me sharply not to interrupt her as she told me I was wrong and did not need a referral or a prescription. She stated that I needed "doctors orders" and that she would just print those up and I could come and get them at the office. She said the doctors orders were done in June.

About five minutes after the phone call, someone else from ENH returned my call from Monday asking for clarification. Okey dokey.

The end result is that the required paperwork was faxed to Condell. I think. Part of the confusion, at least this week, was that Mom's doctor is on vacation.

I would rate this caregiving experience as an 8 out of a possible 10 Hershey kisses in frustration. This scale is based on how much chocolate is needed to restore me to civility.

You my reader, now deserve some Hershey's yourself for having gotten through this venty post.